Friday, May 18, 2007

My apology to Canada's New Government™

I have previously mocked the Conservatives for their amateurish branding exercise. For one thing, "Canada's New Government" rings in my ears like an attempt to sell soap flakes or breakfast cereal (Now with 25% more smugness and 18 essential panders!). And surely there's some natural statute of limitations on calling something New. Six months maybe. A year tops.

But with this demonstration of just how New they are, I must offer a clear and unequivocal apology:

To Messrs. Harper, Baird, Flaherty, et. al. I sincerely regret having suggested, either in word or action, that you were experienced and thoughtful politicians who shouldn't consider yourselves New. Clearly I was wrong, and I regret any hurt feelings my actions may have caused.

I assumed that spending 13 years watching from the opposition benches, you would have picked up some tips about how to manage relations with the civil service. That assumption was naïve and unfair, and I promise never again to suggest that you learned anything other than smear tactics and the ability to pass off complete fabrications as truth. In fairness, you're really good at those things, and one shouldn't be criticized for honing their specialized skills.

So since you're New, and need more time to get the hang of things, I will humbly offer a morsel of advice:

Don't mess with the civil service. They have way too much ability to fuck you up. If you continue to try to get heavy, you're in for a world of hurt.


Anonymous said...

foottothefire here;
In the beginning (when THEY descended from the heavens) I predicted the bringing to heel of the civil service would have to be just one of several agendas to eventually reveal the true character of Harperco.
The public garrotting of a part time employee is just the start. Expect things to get a lot more brutal and then also be prepared to go into hiding if Emperor Stevie And His Stompers ever get that majority.
These are mean, moralizing mothers inspired by the gutting style of Thatcher, Reagan and Caligula. They are intent on ruling not governing; they demand we give them their day!

Cerberus said...

Time change the name of Canada's New Government, methinks. Come on by and sign the petition.