Monday, May 14, 2007

Bomb drama just a creative way of getting future boss' attention

The RCMP's explosives disposal unit was called to the scene of 24 Sussex yesterday, after a nervous-looking man tossed a duffel bag over the security fence. Upon investigation, however, the bag was found to contain an assortment of personal hygiene products. The police canine unit was called in to track the man, who fled on foot, but he has not yet been apprehended.

"We're hoping the individual will contact us soon," said PMO spokeswoman Sandra Buckler. "The bag also contained a resume and cover letter, indicating the gentleman is interested in a position on the Prime Minister's grooming detail. Mr. Harper was quite intrigued by some of the product samples contained in the package, and the resume lists some impressive credentials." Ms. Buckler declined to comment as to whether those credentials included palmology and channeling.

When asked about the conduct of the man, who was seen pacing in front of the property prior to the incident, and the possibility of mental health implications, Ms. Buckler was dismissive. "I imagine he was just nervous about applying for a job of such importance. I remember how anxious I was in my interview for this job. I was perspiring so much, I had to ask for a break to change my clothes. I completely understand the gentleman's desire to run away. But with the summer barbeque tour fast approaching, I do hope he'll be in touch. "

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